Everyone’s born better at some things more than others. Some people are really tall, others really smart. People usually pursue what they are best at, and this works out in a couple ways. First, people generally have unique talents, so it balances out across the human population. More importantly, following what you are best at reinforces the motivation that drives continued dedication and thus progress. I think this idea is something often associated with passion— an unreal amount of dedication is usually only possible with reinforcement through progress. By seeing that you are better than others at something, you naturally feel that a continued pursuit of that will lead to more happiness.
Thus, in a broad sense, passion is a byproduct of talent. Here we define talent as any ability largely inherent to birth. Most things I can say I’m passionate about, like programming or math, I’ve had lots of success in. Don’t get me wrong, it's very misleading to say that passion is solely dependent on talent, there’s definitely a pure fascination or attachment to a craft that can’t be attributed to a genetic trait. But, inevitably, there's a lot of passion that’s driven by raw skill. Like most psychological arguments, there’s an evolutionary side to this too. Having everyone in a group do what they are best at supports the overall group the best.
But I think there’s another type of motivation. You can either be motivated by things you're good at, but also things you’re proud of. I think there’s a distinction here that people don’t talk about enough. Competitive motivation is inherent to a group setting. It's fragile and illusionary. It's that hunger that keeps the best continuing to push to be the best. But being proud is inherent to the human condition. Being proud is sustainable. And most importantly, it's controllable. When we judge ourselves against others, we fail to see our self-improvement, which is what we control. Rather than coming from external measures of skill or proficiency, pride is a self-validated feeling of motivation for doing something. And this is powerful.
Here’s where “side quests” come in. Main quests are your bread and butter, we get degrees for them, they are part of personality, and we talk about them for the rest of our lives. Side quests are literally everything else. Stuff you put time into not because you think you’re skilled but because you want to improve. You’re never pressured to do side quests, and this helps better define what a side quest is: an activity that is no longer a competition but a pursuit of improvement.
Side quests achieve this by sitting outside your comfort zone. A quest is a traversal to unknown realms, one that takes you to places you didn’t anticipate to get to. But a side quest defines a path that has been taken before. People that have made this side quest their main quest are those you look up to, but you never expect to be as good as them. The communities you become a part of are filled with these main questers, and you can’t help but feel like an imposter, the underdog that's never going up the ranks. This is exactly what diminishes the feeling of competition: you’re never going to be the best, so why try. Here’s where most people fall off their side quests. But those who persist, or are forced to persist, find other ways to motivate continued effort. By focusing on incremental progress compared to yourself rather than relative progress with respect to peers, you feel a deep satisfaction as a result of any growth you see.
Side quests are important, not as facets of success but as insights into different aspects of the world. They serve to humble us, push us, and add perspective to the narrow lives that most of us live. Stepping out of your comfort zone is a unique experience, you know the destination but also that you’re never going there. Your goal becomes to chart the terrain, not reach the top of the mountain. On the mountain trail, you can only see both those above and below you, but in the wilderness you’re only focused on survival.
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